The Direction of My Life Is Not a Whim

By: Isabella D’Angelo

My direction in life is not a whim.

There are days when the purpose and intention behind everything I do feels clear, grounded, and steady and then there are days when the very essence of why I do anything seems to disappear. I’m learning to detach from the need to constantly understand or justify why I choose to live authentically and unapologetically. I’m not meant to be wrapped up in my mind’s attempts to make sense of the world around me. Some days are simply about being a human being, not a human doing.

How much I accomplish doesn’t counteract the way I’ve shaped my body and my life to be free — free to express, free to live for the beauty that is always waiting to be revealed. And I know that what I’m doing isn’t just affecting me. It touches my family lineage, the ties between us, the trust and love we’re building, and the desire we all share to want the best for each other.

I created a ripple by being stubborn enough to advocate for who I am. I won’t let myself forget the love I have for me, or for my family’s existence. My relationship, for instance, mirrors and reflects all the love I’ve poured into myself over time. When I show up as me, it allows others to heal their hearts and meet themselves more softly.

My presence is a gift the way I can hold anyone’s experience, no matter what it is, and offer understanding not because I don’t know, but because in so many situations, I truly do. I had to walk through places of pain and trial to learn the importance of understanding. Now I can offer a level of reliability and confidence that comes from lived experience.

I’m not perfect, but I am proud of who I am. The love in my life romantic and familiar is something I’m deeply grateful for. I get to have these experiences, these moments, and fully be in the life I’m living. And that, to me, is everything.

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